I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
The action icon is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. However, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35-year mark this winter.
The Story and An Iconic Moment
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who goes undercover as a elementary educator to locate a fugitive. Throughout the film's runtime, the crime storyline acts as a basic structure for the star to film humorous moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous belongs to a child named Joseph, who unprompted announces and states the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”
The young actor was portrayed by youth performer Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a character arc on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the character of the child who returns in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. Additionally, he is a regular on popular culture events. He recently shared his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.
Memories from the Set
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all just have to wait, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was incredibly nice. He was enjoyable. He was nice, which arguably stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.
“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He gifted all the students in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the must-have gadget, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?
You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the other children would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.
That Famous Quote
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember how it happened? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it originated, according to family lore, was they were still developing characters. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, I suppose someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and she was right.
